What? What's that you said? Something about technology is an inanimate object and cannot think or do for itself? Sorry, I couldn't hear you over the sound of my tearing my hair out in frustration and the thought of punting this dumb laptop across a soccer field and yelling "GOOOOOOOOOAAAAAAAAAAAL" as loud and obnoxiously as I can. This dumb ass computer has done so many unspeakable things. It bans me from Facebook and the like. It won't let me use other fucking browsers, like Mozilla or maybe Chrome, which are both so much better than fucking Internet Explorer that it's not even funny. IE is like using a chisel to carve cuneiform into clay tablets while everyone else is whizzing along on iPads. And the fucking spell check isn't even on. Fuck fuck fuck fuckity fuck fuck.
Also, I hate math. With a vibrant, burning passion. In fact, my hatred of math burns with the intensity and passion of a thousand suns. STUPID MOTHERFRAGGLEASSTRIANGLES. I've been trying to do my math homework for the past hour and I keep getting "domain error" shit. So I just quit and I'll go in the morning to see what the fuck it is that I'm doing wrong. Fuck fuck fucking math and this dumbass stupid computer. Fuck you.
And I'm upset because of the motherfucking CHA reunion and how I won't get to go and my entire crew is going to be there and I'm going to miss is because of a fucking band contest, one that I half-way don't even care about. And I'm upset because I can't go to college in a city. And I feel dumb because I want to go to Pitt more than I want to go to Murray. I feel like I shouldn't though. I have no claim on Pittsburgh. Just becuase I was there for a day doesn't mean I get to say I want to stay there for 4+ years at school. But I do. I do so much. It's so beautiful there. And the campus at Pitt is wonderful--it's right smack dab in the middle of things. Or, at least it looks like it is. All the buildings are tall and you can walk to all these stores and everything and it just has this incredible vibe that I fell in love with but I can't go there because it's crazy expensive. And I don't even know if I'd be happy once I got up there--I would know NOBODY. I'd be lucky if there was someone in my class who was from Kentucky, let alone Owensboro. Not that I care, or I like to think that I don't care. I think now that I want to get away from all of this stupid redneck shit around here, but I think I'd be scared out of my mind for the first bit. But I might start to hate it later. I'm so fucking fickle. I used to say that I was in love with the Davidson campus, and I never even seriously considered it. I didn't consciously want to change, it just happened. So I say I love Pitt and I want to be there in a city I've been to twice with people I've never met.
I feel like I'm being punished for wavering at the end of CHA from my proclamation I made at the end of spring break. Like, because I thought I might want to go to Murray more, now it would be the best thing to want more. Or maybe I'm not being punished but the universe it a few weeks behind in granting my wishes and that's making everything terrible and I'm sitting here crying because I'm so damn upset. I don't know what I'm going to do.
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