So I didn't know that that song ('Til Kingdom Come) was a Coldplay song when I heard it at the final Spotlight at CHA and now I'm listening and I want to weep. I don't know if it's just because I'm a hormone-riddled 17 year old female or what, but I have been so mood-swingy lately. Actually, that probably has a lot to do with it. Like, yesterday and they days before I was all "I am the biggest boss the world has ever seen and you mortals should worship at my feet" but not in an excessively rude way, and today I'm just like "I suck at life, someone come ship me off to outer Mongolia so I don't have to inflict my awkward-ass self on you gods". URGH it sucks.
You know, I've been kidding myself lately by thinking that the worst of missing CHA was over. I mean, I obviously post about it all the time, and now that I most likely can't go to the reunion, it just hurts more. I always counted on being able to go, but the stupid band competition is that day and I would totally miss hosting a band to see them all, but my mom doesn't want me to. And considering the fact that she'd probably have to drive me down there, her approval kind of matters. I'm doing a really bad job of explaining why I miss it so damned much, but that's because there is literally no way to describe how it was and what it meant to me then and what it means now. Missing something this badly is a completely new experience for me. The closest thing to this is when my grandmother would come to visit from Pennsylvania or New Jersey or wherever she was, and then would leave as one does at the end of visits. Ugh, sob sob sob, cry cry cry. Stupid hormones.
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