Finals OMG

What? Finals are two weeks away? When did that happen?! I'm not ready to be a senior! My grades aren't good enough! OH NOOOO
All this panic has been brought about by the finalization of the finals schedule by our darling administration. I've been through 5 rounds of finals, and every single time they change the schedule. Seriously. It's irritating, and it results in me not drawing up a chart for myself about which classes I'm exempting from, when I'll be at school and my grades, etc. until the minute before exams start.But now I've got it done (I think) but all my grades and such are dependent on how many more grades my teachers take before final exemptions are due. Like, in some classes, I'm on the border of an A and if we take a few more grades that I do well on, I could bump it up to the A and get out of the final. But I doubt that'll happen, so I'll take like, 3 of my 8 finals. Boooo.

I'm the world's Most Awkward Person--and I have proof! Also, I want to be a cowgirl.

If I were a superhero, my power would the be ability to make anyone, anywhere, feel awkward about anything. I mean, I'm incredibly good at it. With just a few choice words flung from my lips, I can make a situation turn frosty, full of sideways didshereallyjustsaythat glances and false laughing at my incredible wit. I'll think something in response to someone's question or comment, and I'll blurt it out, often without giving it time to solidify into actual proper English. Instead, it emerges at speeds of up to over 90000 mph as mangled gibberish it'd take a speech pathologist twenty minutes to figure it out. Then, to make things worse, I'll try to explain what I meant. This usually goes one of two ways: either they somehow understood what I said, and my attempted explanation is met with more blank stares, or I end up totally ruining the whole situation by confusing everyone more. Then I usually quiet down, and feel ashamed of myself for thinking I could engage in witty banter with these demigods normal human beings, who seems to have no problem at all making themselves understood, and usually getting roaring laughter in response to their observations. Of course, I'm not talking about everyone. Some people just aren't as funny as others. But these verbal slip-ups seem to occur when I'm most self-conscious about what I'm saying, because I want them to think I'm funny and therefore attractive. Not attractive in the "let's find a dark corner to make out in" but "Hey, you're a cool person and I like you" way.

Anyway...now that I'm done whining contemplating my existence, I'll tell you darlings what brought about this bout of angst. I was in the gym today during 4th period instead of sociology, because we juniors got a reward "day" (even though it was 1 1/2 hours) for doing well on the state tests last week. A large group of kids who I'm kind-of friends with most of the people in (wow, that was confusing. Ok, to clarify, there was a large group of kids. I'm kind-of friends with most of them and good friends with one or two. moving on) were playing 4-square. Now, I'm not very athletic (obviously), but I love 4-square. When I'm not playing with uber-competitive track team/volleyball/cross country/swim team stars who unmercifully slay me with their mad skills on the court, that is. My love for the game came about the summer after 7th grade, when I first went to TIP. During breaks, my class would venture outside. Heather, our TA, came up with the idea of playing 4-square on the brick paths instead of languishing in the hot North Carolina sun, or risking injury by crossing the paths of Ultimate Frisbee players to get to the denser shade. Anyway, flashback over. I had awkwardly (!) joined the group of people, since nobody specifically said "Hey Katherine! Get your awkward butt over here and play some 4-square!" I just kind of sidled on over because I had abandoned my previous group because I didn't want to listen to them debate the pros and cons of the stoner kid who sits next to me in class, because a member of said group laaaaiked him. At least, that was my impression. Anyway, so we go a few rounds of the game, I get out without touching the ball, and a kid who will remain unnamed came up to me and talked to me, asking about my grades. When I answered him (saying that they were abysmal, 'cause they are) I used the same swearword he'd apparently used the sentence before, and he said I wasn't allowed to use his own swears against him! So I said something stupid and used the previously described word-vomit all over this kid and the conversation just died after that. So here I am, sitting and thinking about it 7 hours later. 

When I do this (and it's often, believe me) I just console myself with thinking about how in 10 years, I could be living by myself on a ranch in either Montana, Utah, Wyoming, or Arizona. Somewhere out West where there's not a lot of people. And I mean by myself: no bratty kids, no obnoxious husband, no irritating neighbors. Maybe with a couple of dogs and horses. And sheep. And goats. And chickens. I like farm animals, can you tell? I guess living in semi-rural Kentucky has finally brainwashed me, and lately I've had the urge to don cowboy boots and unflattering  flannel shirts. I think it would be cool to be an earthy lady--not like crazy environmentalist, but don't-have-to-go-to-the-grocery-store-for-everything lady. You know? I could illustrate as my main gig and just send my prints to my editor or whoever in their office in the city, and enjoy a peaceful life out West with my animals.

I run things

Not really. I just wrote that because I'm in sociology class and I've already typed the notes that are on the powerpoint, so I basically have nothing to do. We're discussing divorce, so ERR-BODY has their Personal Statement or their Personal Connection to this Sad and Horrible Topic. And I'm like, save the drama fo'yo' llama. Whatever. I don't even want children or to get married or anything. I'll live all by myself (well, with a few dogs) in rural Montana when I'm grown up. I'll just send my drawings to book editors and be really really rich and live in a castle or something. And I'll have horses. Two or three horses. Yeah.

I miss the way things used to be

Well, if you saw this post during the past 24 hours, you might have noticed that it has gotten significantly shorter. I deleted my rant because it was embarrassing. End of story. Enjoy the pictures!

From top to bottom:
"Do You Know Where the Fight Is?", courtesy Kate Beaton.
Chanel (I think) shoes...from I don't know where.
Lolarious graph from graphjam.com

That darn chicken sandwich

So, apparently, all of you people stumbling on my blog are looking at it just because of the picture of the chicken sandwich I posted ages ago. Seriously, like all of my pageviews from the last month or so have been from Google Images, searching for a chicken sandwich. It's not real, guys. Looking at it won't make it materialize in your lap! People on the internet are weird...In other news, Spring break is officially over in 25 minutes. I might cry. It's been an awesome spring break, and I'm not ready to go back to the monotony of school. Although tomorrow, hopefully, something...interesting might happen. We'll see. But yeah...school is boring. I want to go to college, even though it scares me a whole lot. I'd never tell my parents that I'm scared to go away, because that's pretty much all I've ever talked about--leaving the house and being on my own. But now that it's nearly here, I'm kind of thinking that maybe living with my parents and having them provide me with food, clothing, transportation, and, oh yeah, immediate unconditional love (most of the time. I can be pretty obnoxious.) isn't so bad after all. Oh, dear. Now I sound like one of those stupid Disney channel "coming of age" movies where the protagonist gets exactly what she wishes for and realizes that it's not what she wants at all and she really had it awesome with her awesome family and her awesome clothes and awesome friends and she learns to appreciate them, goshdarnit! Ugh. K-Pow OUT.

Prom/Spring Break

Urgh. Prom is a month away, and I still don't have 1.) A date and  2.) A dress. I don't even know if I'll go this year, since I can't find the motivation to actually ask someone. I could, but then there's the possibility that they'd say no, and I really don't feel like dealing with rejection, which is what I'm pretty sure I'd be faced with. So why even ask, right? On the other hand I might go with a girl friend, which would be ok, but not as fun as going with a date or even a date and a group, like so many people at Apollo do. I don't know why I'm suddenly so apathetic about the whole thing. I guess it's because this is really the critical time to find a date and schedule hair and makeup and what not and I'm not doing any of it, because I don't know if I'm going or not. There's a thousand reasons not to go, but there's also a thousand reasons to go. I can't make up my mind.
Also, it's spring break. You'd think with all this time off from school I'd be out of my mind with bliss, but I'm not. I took a fantastic trip to Pittsburgh and Rochester, NY to visit colleges earlier this week. I visited the University of Pittsburgh and the Rochester Institute of Technology, and I absolutely loved Pitt. As in, barring no major personality/financial situation/general intended career changes, I'm going to be headed there after I graduate from this boring high school in this podunk little town. I thought I wouldn't like an urban campus, but after I got there and saw how everything moved, I loved it. I can't imagine staying isolated on a self-contained campus now, and that's what I thought I wanted before I visited. I wasn't so much impressed by Rochester...maybe because it's kind of out of the way, and the day before I'd been smack-dab in the middle of a busy, energetic city. Also, it seems like everyone at Rochester has a car and lives off-campus, and I won't have a car (I don't think I even want one, especially if I'm in the city). I love the fact that Pitt is connected to the city around it. Like, at Pitt, if you're heading to your 9 AM class, you could pick up a coffee and donut from the donut shop a block away from your residence hall. I guess you could do that at any college, but it would be from a restaurant from inside the school, not a separate business, and it would just be more of the same people. I don't know; I can't explain it.
Anyway, all my traveling has disillusioned me from my sedate-ish Owensboro life. It's really boring and especially trying because I'm dealing with the rest of my messy family again, not just my mom and littlest brother. And on top of all of this, I'm dying to get some new nail polish after my last purchase failed so miserably. It was this bright purple thing from Rue21, and it's grape-scented. Scented nail polish? It was weird. Not only did it smell bad (all chemical-y fake grape) it was horribly streaky and kind of gloppy. I was disappointed.

Spring Break

It's this week! Only 4 days until the sweet, sweet beginning of that so-anticipated break. I'm going to Pittsburgh and Rochester, to look at colleges. My dad is having surgery today in Nashville on his ankle, so we don't think he'll be in good enough condition to drive/walk all over college campuses. I'm super excited, though, because I've only been to Pittsburgh once before and I've never been to New York. We might even stop by Niagara Falls on the way home from Rochester, which would be super cool! I just realized that both of the schools I'm seriously considering, RIT and Pitt, have some connection to female relatives...my mom went to Pitt and my Aunt Lisa went to the University of Rochester, which is in the same town as RIT but a different school. So that's kind of interesting, especially considering I've always sworn that I was getting as far away from my family as possible.

Perfection

I don't think that there is a perfect personality. I don't think there is a perfect anything, really. Even if something looks perfect, it has to be flawed in some way or it wouldn't be real. Everything has a flaw, but it's the flaw(s) that make whatever it is, be it a flower or a person or a community, real. I don't think that this is a bad thing, because it gives us something to constantly strive for. If we weren't seeking perfection, we would just sit around all day, never trying to better ourselves. People need to accept the fact that they're not, and never will be, perfect, but accepting and admitting that fact doesn't make it ok for you to act like a jerk. I mean, if you're a jerk, admit it, and try to do something about it. Admitting that you're a jerk, or that you're sexist or racist or whatever doesn't make it ok, which seems to be what a lot of people think. You have to try to not be a sexist or racist or a jerk, or whatever it is that you're bad about. Simply admitting the fact doesn't change it.

Huh. Guess I kind of went off on a tangent there. Oh well.

Spring Break

So for Spring Break this year,  I am traveling to Pittsburgh, Pennsylvania and Rochester, New York. I'm going to look at colleges--the University of Pittsburgh and the Rochester Institute of Technology. I'm really excited and will hopefully be able to put some of my own pictures up after Spring Break, because I'm getting a camera! I had one before, but it broke. So now I get to buy my own. Anyways...we're leaving on Sunday and will be in Pittsburgh by that evening. Then on Monday, we're going to visit the university and chill out around Oakland (the neighborhood where the university is). Then on Monday night we're driving up to Rochester and visiting there on Tuesday. We're leaving early on Wednesday morning so we can get back by the night, and we might stop by Niagara Falls if we leave early enough.

Summer

I absolutely cannot wait for summer. It will either be really awesome, or just kind of awesome. But everything that would make it totally awesome is still up in the air. I could go to Murray for 3 weeks for this nerd camp thing (Duke TIP heck yes!) which would be SO AMAZING! Or I could not go, and just work throughout June. And then, at the end of June/beginning of July, I might get to go up to Pennsylvania and visit my grandmother and maybe a couple more colleges whilst I'm there. Or, you know, I might not get to go to Murray or Pennsylvania and just work until band camp, which is sure to totally suck be interesting. I really hope I get to go to Pennsylvania, because I don't get to see my grandmother often and I haven't been to her house since I was about 11. This is a picture of the waterfall in the town where she lives.

Meh and also meh. And senior scheduling.

I feel tired today. I was reprimanded for carrying my backpack into APUSH, which is weird, because my teacher is normally pretty chill. But no--if I bring it in there again, I'll be taking a trip to the vice principal's office. I don't get why backpacks are outlawed, anyway. It makes it so much easier to just carry around all the things you need for the day (unless you have an absolutely ridiculous amount of stuff, which you shouldn't, since we have textbooks on our laptops(not that we use them, anyway)) and it's tedious to have to go back to your locker after every single class to get stuff. That's for middle school, and I'm almost a senior. We're doing scheduling now, so I've got to think about all the classes for next year. Senior year! Finally.

Ugly words and faces

Vomit is a nasty word. So is moist. And yeast. And chunk.
Anyway, last night my mom and dad were out getting air in the tires or something, and so I was in charge of the kids at home. My younger brother, who is 13, was doing the dishes and generally harassing the two youngest brothers, who were being equally obnoxious. I credit them with making me never want to reproduce. Anyway, Ian and Colin, who I had sent to bed 10 minutes early, were making lots of racket in their room and giggling like loons on giggle pills and irritating me. So, I went to open their door, but it was locked. I pounded on the door REALLY loudly, because I was kind of upset, and when Ian opened the door and saw me, he started crying like I had destroyed his favorite stuffed animal. Apparently, I had a horrible expression on my face that scared Ian so much that he started to cry. Usually seeing me mad just makes him laugh harder, but apparently my face was legitimately frightening. He said I was making a "monster face".

SUCCESS

I got a 97 on that APUSH quiz. I'm a freaking BEAST. In other news, though, I'm failing Algebra II miserably. I finally made up a quiz, though, so hopefully it will move my grade up to a C so I can leave early for early release. Oh, and I got a job! At Denny's. Where I seat people and such. It's confusing and I got yelled at a lot on Sunday (when I started), but it's not too terrible. I'm not expecting to like it, so that might actually make it slightly better. I don't have to work until Thursday, though, so I've got some time until then to find some proper work pants and such. I'm really happy I got it, though, because now I can actually save money for prom and a laptop at the end of next year and, you know, just have general walking-around money. It's awesome!

Don't you know I'm not your ghost anymore?

I heard that song "Jar of Hearts" on the radio yesterday, and I looooove it. Not because it applies to me, because I'm not bitter about a relationship that went sour, but because I like the music and how it sounds. And the video is really cool. It's actually got real dancing in it instead of a bunch of scantily clad women shaking it around a rapper with sunglasses on who is singing/shouting at the camera. I was really surprised because I wikipedia'd the song and it came out last July. I think a lot of people just found it and started listening to it, because a lot of people have been talking about it. Yep. Anyway, I just took this quiz in APUSH and I think I did ok on it. It was hard, but I'd studied all study hall and I remembered most of the stuff.
In other news, I'm making college visits during Spring Break this year. I'm definitely going to the University of Pittsburgh and the University of Delaware. But more on that later!

Dogs

I think dogs could tell us a lot about what's really important in life. Dogs don't worry about money or what their friend said about them or that they might be laid off. Dogs just look for their next meal and some love from their owners. I think people get too wrapped up in what they think is important. I mean, how many times have you heard someone complain because they don't have the new iPhone? I'll admit to that, because I'm human and guilty of greed. But it doesn't really matter whether your cell phone is 2 weeks old or 2 years old, as long as it does what it needs to--which is just to let you communicate with people you're not with at the time.
Dogs would tell people not to worry about their money so much. I had this conversation with my mom in the car the other day when we were talking about college (surprise!). We were talking about careers, and I said something about how people I know only want to go to college to get a degree so they can get a job that pays a lot of money. Nobody wants to go to college to learn for the sake of learning or for the experience; they just want to go so they can make money. Everything boils down to money in the end--why people can't go to a certain school, why they can't feed their children or put a roof over their head, why they can't travel or read or just enjoy life. It makes me sad that this is what we, not just as a society or a culture but as humans, would let this happen.
So that got kind of heavy and off-topic. I blame Coldplay's "Christmas Lights". Beautiful song, but it's so melancholy.

Oh Dear

I just realized the last 2 posts in a row had to do with procrastination. I guess it's kind of on my mind a lot, though, considering how much I do it. NO, STOP. Don't write about procrastination again.

Butterfly Prom Dress

I checked my blog stats, where it tells you who visited your blog and where they were from and such, and I've gotten the coolest places. I've gotten a few views from Denmark, and TODAY (yeah! someone looked at my blog today!) I got two views from Kuwait! How cool is that? Pretty cool, that's how cool. I like imagining random people from the other side of the world just stumbling on my blog and reading it, and it's kind of cool. I see why so many people do it, but I don't get how they get anybody to read it at all. I mean, I know this is a school blog and all I ever write about it my boring life and how much I procrastinate, but it's still cool that people just look at my blog. In other news, I think this page needs a bit of visual interest. Sooo...here are some pictures.
Like this dress! I really like it. It's from...some prom website. That probably breaks like 50 internet rulez but oh well. I'd love to wear this dress to prom, because nobody else would have it. And I like butterflies. 

Procrastination

Procrastination is something we all do, but I believe I have honed this science down to an art. I'm so good at it, I'll procrastinate while I procrastinate. Like right now? I'm writing a blog post so I won't have to do my French homework, which I was going to do instead of my Algebra homework. It's like Inception, except with homework instead of dreams, and I'm pretty sure Joseph Gordon-Levitt and Leonardo DiCaprio aren't going to come busting into my room. Which is a shame, because they're both smokin'.
We had another snow day today, so there's really no excuse for not doing my homework until late at night. Except this time, there is! I left my purse at a friend's house yesterday, and my brother wouldn't drive over there and get it for me until like, 8:00 today.He had to get it because I can't drive, and because my parents had both cars at work today. It really sucks not having 3 cars, because that means anytime more than two people want to drive somewhere, it's like a logic problem to solve. "Tom needs the car at 3:00, but Joseph needs to get home by 3:45. If Laura has only an hour for lunch and needs to pick them both up and get back to work on time, how many batches of cookies will Katherine have to make before she realizes it's her dream to become a pastry chef?" Exactly like that. Believe it.

This is why I won't be successful

I'm such a massive procrastinator. Unless is is literally the VERY last opportunity I have to do something, I will not do it. Example: my Psychology project. I had a semester to do it, but when did I do it? That's right, the day before it was due. And today, with my APUSH essay--I'm probably going to end up doing it at like 10:00 tonight and weeping because I'm missing Glee. Not that I would watch it on my TV anyway (my family doesn't get it) but because everyone else is watching it and I'm doing an essay I had plenty of time to do earlier but I'm doing it now. Er, then.
"So why don't you just do it now, Katherine?" you cry.
Because I'd rather waste time on my laptop than actually do homework, that's why.
This was supposed to be a semi-funny post, but it's just kind of rambling and doesn't make sense to anyone. Not even me.

Promalongadingdong

Well, it's that time of year again...second semester! Which means that everyone starts talking about PROM. That dreaded/anticipated formal event on the first Saturday in May. Which is also Derby Day. I'm sorry, but I am NOT missing it. Which means that I will  either run downstairs in my big dress with my hair half-done to watch a bunch of horses run around a track, or I will sit downstairs in the corner of the couch, sulking because everyone else is going to have fun at prom and I'm at home because I couldn't get a date or I couldn't get a job and buy a dress or something. I'm really hoping for the former, because, well, it'd be a LOT of fun to get dolled up and run around with my friends in fancy clothes, but knowing me and how things tend to work out for me, it'll probably be the latter. As in sweatpants and Glee marathons galore. Speaking of Glee, it comes back on this Sunday and I am so excited! Glee is the first TV show I've actively followed. I've seen every episode (because I'm a dork and because of the wonders of Hulu) and I've really missed it over the break between the last episode and the start of the new "season". I just felt like blogging for some reason...I don't know why. But there's no school tomorrow! Yay! It's a professional development day and even though we've had 7843249287349823 snow days this year (that's a bit of an overstatement) we're still out. I'm not complaining, though. Even though I haven't been to school for a full week this semester (I don't think so, anyway) for snow days or Honor Band or field trips to Nashville or being sick, I'm feeling really stressed from all the work I'm getting and a 3 day weekend is AWESOME. 

Being sick and honor band

So last weekend, from Thursday afternoon until Saturday evening, was the WKU Honor Band Clinic. It was really fun, but it would have been even better if I hadn't gotten ragingly sick on Friday. It's some nasty cold/cough thing and it's making me miserable. But back to Honor Band. We drove down on Thursday, which was probably the highlight of the trip (because I actually wasn't sick) and we were cracking jokes and making merry and such.Then we got down to Western and it was so cool. They have a really beautiful campus (even if it is absolute death with all the hills) and we auditioned. I wasn't happy with my chair placement, but it turned out all right in the end because the director of my band, Mr. Starnes, was super cool. We rehearsed for about an hour on Thursday night because the flutes took forever to show up, and we finally went back to the hotel after it was all over. And we went to Wal-Mart , which was fun. On Friday, I didn't start getting sick until the afternoon, so the morning was ok. We rehearsed in this huge ballroom in a conference building and it was either blazing, boiling hot or freezing because they'd prop open ALL the windows. After we left for lunch, my group had to wait for the group from the other band to show up at the dining hall for forever, but they finally showed up and we went in and had some pizza. That's when I started to really feel bad--coughing and shivering and feeling all fever-y. So we went back to rehearsal and I about DIED, because 1) I was super-tired from not going to bed until about 1:30 AM (I know it sounds lame, but I'm pretty much dead if I go to bed after midnight) and 2) being sick on top of everything else, and 3) my director was rehearsing this one section in this one kind of boring song OVER and OVER and OVER and it was a part where I didn't play, so I just kind of sat there going "Duuhhhh..." By then I was feeling really terrible and only consoled myself with the thought of sleeping on the way to dinner. After rehearsal FINALLY let out, we waited at the car for FOREVER for the kids from the other band. Then we drove out to some restaurants, and on the way there, the entire car was arguing about what to eat. I wasn't, because I was on Death's door, but I digress. We finally stopped at a Subway, where I just sat at a booth and tried not to pass out/die and got a Sprite. I guess this all sounds kind of melodramatic, but it was bad. So everyone gets Subway and we head back to the hotel before the Prism concert, where I took some medicine and a short nap. I felt a lot better after I took some medicine, and then we went to the Prism concert. It's this thing where they have all sorts of ensembles, like a trumpet group and the pep band and the concert band and a capella groups and it was AWESOME. There was this steel drum group (like the things they play in Jamaica) and then the trumpets played "Jupiter" from The Planets, and it was probably the coolest thing ever. And the male a capella group was awesome, too. And so was the Pep Band. They had strobe lights and fog machines and all sorts of cool stuff--I can't wait for next year's. After we got back to the hotel again, we watched the last few minutes of The Dark Knight before everyone left our room and we went to bed. I felt fine during all of that, but when I woke up the next morning it was Misery City again. We had the concert, it was awesome, and I went home. I'll elaborate more later, but I'm really tired now and I want to go to bed.